There are two definites in life – aging and dying. Human behavioural specialist and world renowned teacher and author Dr John Demartini offers a fresh take on adjusting your mind when your mirror ‘seems’ to be conspiring against you. Here he offers advice to turn around some frequent fears about ageing.


I didn’t plan for my retirement. Can I turn my finances around at this stage?

No matter what your age is, you still have something you can contribute to someone in the world. Try looking for someone or a group of people who you can serve in exchange for money. Money will become a by-product of your services rendered. Then save a progressively expanding portion of whatever you make and become more of a master of money instead of its slave. This will set you on a path to greater financial freedom.


I’m afraid of dying

We sleep best at night after a great and fulfilling day of service. We will slip into death more calmly if we are grateful for a fulfilling and service oriented life. When you ask yourself on your deathbed, “Did I do everything I could with everything I was given?” you want to be able to say, “Yes, absolutely”. Get focused on what you can still live for and the time of dying will take care of itself. Otherwise what you fear the most may come upon you just that much sooner.


I feel that I am too old to start something new

If your attitude is that you are too old, then I guess your body will make your prophecy come true. I had lunch recently with a 90-year-old woman who runs a major company, owns a huge farm, writes books and lectures. I guess she believes she is getting younger. Start now and you can decide how old or how young you are going to be. When you don’t decide, someone else decides. Any area of your life you don’t empower, someone will overpower.


I have so many regrets in my life. I haven’t achieved what I wanted, and looking back over lost opportunities depresses me

The truth is – if you truly wanted to do so many things, you would have done them. All decisions were – and are – being made according to your true hierarchy of values or those priorities that are truly most important to you. If you did not get to do something, it is because you had other, more important or fulfilling things to do at that time. Honour what you have done instead of dishonouring what you haven’t done.


Anything you can’t say thank you for in your life will run your life until you become grateful for it. Try making a list of how whatever you’ve done has served you and others. Don’t stop compiling that list until you can look in the mirror and be grateful for who you are and for what you have achieved. My suggestion is to read something inspirational every day. Count your blessings every day. Send a thank you every day. Hug another individual – or an animal – every day. And never stop telling yourself, “No matter what I have done or not done, I am worthy of love”.


My body betrays my best intentions – I’m just too tired…

Everyone can find reasons not to get into action. Lubricate those joints and awaken a cause greater than your obstacles. To be alive is to serve and reward others and yourself. As long as you can breathe and move a muscle, you can contribute to the world in some small or significant way. Dig deep inside yourself, locate that inner drive for service and make a difference in someone’s life. This will renew your own spirit and revitalise your heart and soul. You will feel alive and younger. Don’t let excuses stop you from living a dream. Get moving now before your old belief takes away your new life.


Is there anything I can do to ward off the ravages of age?

Keep your mind and your body active. If you don’t use them, you lose them. Stretch your joints, breathe deeply, eat wisely and moderately, drink plenty of water, keep moving, take daily actions that are inspiring, serve others and plan your life the way you would love it to be and you will add years to your life and life to your years.

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