Can we ever get rid of one side of life? Or does life eventually awaken us to the balance of complementary pairs?

Written by Dr John Demartini

Within each of us is a yearning to make a difference and to contribute to the world in our own unique way while fulfilling some meaningful cause that inspires us to some level of greatness. In pursuit of this unique mission we are repeatedly confronted with various pairs of complementary opposites, living within us and existing around us. Whether they are the pairs of support and challenge, ease and difficulty, pleasure and pain, or the labels of hero or villain, good or bad, and virtuous or vicious, each pair becomes our essential and constant companion along our journey of transformation and achievement.

When we live congruently with our most important values and highest priorities and are therefore purposeful, mindful and resilient, such complementary opposites are recognised and wisely viewed as our essential and synchronous companions. We embrace them wholeheartedly and see them as our feedback loops to authenticity and continuous concentric expansion. We are constantly being led to appreciate the complementary pairs within and around us.

The more we seek the one side within the pair, the more the other finds and follows us. If we seek control, we find ourselves in events that curiously overwhelm us. Just as we do not need to get rid of half of our lives to be fulfilled, so too do we not need to get rid of one side of life’s balanced equation to fulfill our most meaningful aims.

Maybe it is wise for us all to reflect deeply upon the synthesis and synchronicity of all complementary opposites that continuously provide us with our inspiring existence. Love has been considered just such an integrated pair and when we awaken to its presence within, we feel grateful for the day.

Could the very message that our intuition is forever revealing to us be this essential balance and symmetry of nature? When we are up, our intuition attempts to awaken us to the downsides; when we are down, it nudges at us to look upward. When we listen wisely, it brings us to the truth of the centre where we are neither proud, nor shamed, only inspired and our most authentic selves.

Yes, it is these many pairs of complementary opposites that turn ordinary individuals into managing leaders and our degrees of ignorance into profound wisdom. The admonition of the heart and the inner and outer balance that permeates and surrounds us is guiding us to our true and most profound awareness and achievements.

It is the marriage of opposites that make the forces of conscious evolution work. Without them we would strive for the illusion of mono-polar existences, which would split us up into dissociated parts that disempower our objectives. Our extreme bipolar conditions are due to such mono-polar addictions. By embracing the two sides of life equally and at once, we can transcend the prey seeking and predator avoiding animal nature that lies reactive within and enlighten our pathway with the resilient path of wholeness and stillness. All areas of our lives then become enriched by such states of being and doing.

It is wiser to embrace life for the true and balanced magnificence that it offers than to strive for a fantasy of what it idealistically should be. So, may we become fully aware of the freedom that our complementary pairs of opposites bring us and may we continually honour such evolving pairs from within ourselves and all others.


Dr. John Demartini is a human behaviour specialist, educator, author and the founder of the Demartini Institute.


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