By Dr John Demartini, human behaviourist


The short answer to this is no – in truth, there is only a balanced form of love. Everything else is a one-sided romantic fantasy, or illusion – which is not sustainable.


No one around you is committed to making your life fulfilling and amazing everyday, that is primarily up to you. But you can find someone who can help you do what fulfills your life and you, as well as them.


One of the pillars of stable relationships is understanding each other’s highest values and how they complement each other.

 By this I don’t mean the clichéd values such as honesty, loyalty, humour etc… To truly understand your values hierarchy – determined by what your life demonstrates and not just what you say – take the opportunity to explore this using the value determination tool on my website – it is free and offers great insight into who you are.


Don’t disregard your quality of life by undermining the important questions which help illuminate your personal values and allow you to be the greatest and most authentic version of yourself. 
You are wise to find out what is important to you, and afterwards see where or how your partner’s values align with your own. This is so that you can both feel loved for who you are – not someone else’s idea of who you ‘should’ be.  When this happens, resentment can build up.


It is essential to know and embrace your personal values and empower all seven primary areas of your life before looking for a partner. Loving partners are magnetized when you are authentic and empowered in as many of the seven areas as possible. The seven areas of life being: mental, vocational, financial, family, social, physical and spiritual.


By empowering your life in all seven areas, you increase the probability of doing something amazing along with someone who is also amazing.


Instead of worrying about finding fleeting happiness, ask yourself; “What are my top three values and how can I fulfill them? What would I absolutely love to do in life? What are the highest priority steps I can take today to achieve this?” And when you meet your potential partner ask yourself, “What are their top three values and how can I help them become fulfilled?”


The more you love others for who they are the more they will become who you love.

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