One of the greatest desires of humankind is the desire to be loved. Along comes Valentines’ Day in the month of February and the desire to be loved is heightened. We then take it a step further and measure our self-worth by if that special someone loves us or not, loves us enough, really cares enough to be there for us, accepts us as we are. Sound familiar………then I am writing to you.


Love is a feeling. In the English language the word “feeling” describes both physical sensations and emotions. The emotion of love is felt through a quickened heartbeat, butterflies in our stomach, a loss for words, weakness at the knees. A perceived lack of love is felt though an aching heart, emptiness in your stomach, a lack of energy. Emotions come from within us, they are our response to the world and the people around us. An absence of emotion (love) or being overwhelmed by emotion (love) causes you to feel out of balance and disconnected from yourself. For us to continually be in balance with ourselves we need to experience true love. True love is found in the love of self. Have we not long been told that the greatest love is the love we have for ourselves.


Know that by improving your relationship with yourself you improve your relationship with others automatically.


As an InnerLifeSkills Master Coach I have found the following to be useful steps for improving your relationship with yourself:

  1. Getting to know what you are good at and not good at, exploring your values and beliefs, defining your dreams /goals/desires for the future
  2. Repetitive positive self-talk
  3. Expressing gratitude daily
  4. Not criticising every quality, feeling and thought that arises in you
  5. Not feeling better than or less than anybody else, but coming to a place of feeling equal to everybody
  6. Understanding who you are and honouring your true nature


When we practice self-love, we invite more love into our world. Self-love expands our self-worth which attracts only that which we desire and feel we deserve. If we do not practice self-love we are not clear on what we desire and by default accept less than we deserve. We long for that one person to fill the “gaps” in our lives rather than responding to life as a “whole” person.


If you’re searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.


An exercise to get you started you on your journey…

I would encourage you to keep a record of your answers in a journal

  • Think of someone who is very important to you. Someone you love dearly.
  • In what ways do you express your love for this person?
  • Do you think this person feels loved by you?
  • How could you let this person know, today, how you feel about him/her
  • In what ways do you express your love for yourself?
  • Do you think you feel loved by you?
  • How could you let yourself know, today, how you feel about yourself? Every morning that you wake up ask yourself this same question and make the time to express it to yourself

About The Author

Life and Business Coach

Lisa le Roux is the owner of Monarch Coaching and Consulting. The business is so named because a butterfly symbolises emergence, freedom, beauty and joyfulness. A monarch is somebody who possesses exceptional power or influence in an area of activity, or something that occupies a pre-eminent or predominant position. MY PURPOSE Inspiring the emergence of freedom, love and joyfulness in the lives of those I touch. MY VISION Inspiring others towards self-mastery and fulfillment of life purpose. MY MISSION Through purposeful coaching and facilitation true potential will emerge. MY VALUES Passion; Integrity; Fulfillment; Inner Harmony Coaching is the specialised art of holding solution focused conversations. As an InnerLifeSkills® Master Coach I support my coachee's to discover the answers, insights and resources they seek, from within themselves. In this way they are inspired to become internally referenced, solution orientated and pro-active. This frees them to be all they were born to be!

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