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As Andy Williams says in his classic Christmas song, the festive season is the most wonderful time of the year – but it can also be very fraught with so much to buy, plan and do and, for some, it’s also a very sad time, especially if you’re battling a medical condition, a family illness or a major life changing event.
“The holiday season can also be a reminder of what you once had or of lost loved ones which can trigger immense feelings of loneliness, anxiety and dread – or even exacerbate an existing mental health condition,” says Yael Geffen, CEO of Lew Geffen Sotheby’s International Realty and staunch advocate for mental health awareness.
“And let’s face it, between the tasks, celebrations, and family obligations, remaining jolly all the time is a very tall order and the pressure to do so can, in itself, trigger anxiety.
“In fact, a poll conducted by the American Psychological Association found that nearly a quarter of Americans report feeling extreme stress during this time of year and 45% would actually prefer to skip the holidays entirely to avoid the associated stress.
“Add to that the results of a study from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), which found almost two-thirds (64%) of people with mental illness report the holidays make their conditions worse, and the need for self-care and awareness during this period becomes all the more obvious.”
However, says Geffen, when stress is at its peak, it’s very difficult to stop and regroup and in this case, prevention is definitely better than cure.
“The trick is to try to prevent or at least minimise the stress in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.”
She has the following suggestions will hopefully help you find some peace – and holiday joy – through the festive season and into the new year:
- Plan ahead – Write a list of what needs to be done and then set aside specific days for shopping, baking, social events and all the other activities that need doing. Decide what can be bought online and plan your menus and then make your shopping list.
And if you live alone, make your plans early so that you can slot in with friends and family plans and don’t miss the boat and end up spending the significant days on your own.
On the flipside don’t over book yourself as this can cause massive anxiety. CHOOSE PEOPLE and locations you enjoy rather than feeling pressured into having to go somewhere you’re prefer not to be.
- It’s OK to say no – Taking on more than you can manage by saying yes to every request and invitation will leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. This applies to friends and family as well as colleagues and bosses – and especially to people and places that can trigger heightened emotions that cause distress.
If there is something you really cannot say no to, then try and remove something else from your schedule instead.
- Work out and stick to a budget – Few things are as anxiety-inducing as financial concerns and you don’t want to go into the new year worrying about how you’ll afford new school uniforms. So, before you do your gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend and make a concerted effort to not exceed your budget.
- Focus on what you can control – Whilst it’s impossible to control every factor, there are many that you can manage or influence and if you at least have some control, you will feel a lot less anxious.
- Keep healthy habits – Taking care of your physical health and sticking to a healthy routine can help stabilise your mood and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety and, as holiday festivities often include excess amounts of food and alcohol, it’s especially important to take care of your physical wellbeing.
Overindulging can easily have a very negative impact on your mood and also make it harder to deal with stress so try to incorporate some form of exercise, even if it’s a daily 20-minute walk and try to get a good night’s rest and to stay hydrated.
And, wherever possible, try to spend a little time out in the sunshine – Vitamin D is known for its mood boosting effects and feeling the warm rays on your skin is bound to lift your spirits.
- Make time for yourself – Yes, the holidays are all about spending time with family or friends, but constantly being sociable can be overwhelming and exhausting so make sure you take a moment for yourself when needed, even if it’s just a few minutes in a quiet room or an early morning walk before everyone is awake.
- Ask for help if you need it – This is not limited to help in the kitchen or tidying up – although you should certainly not be labouring all on your own whilst everyone else relaxes as it will not do anything to improve your mood.
But if you are feeling especially sad, stressed, anxious or depressed, it’s very important that you talk to someone you trust, whether it be family member, a mental health professional or your GP for guidance and support.
Another option for safeguarding your mental health is to sign up with Panda, a mental health care app that provides quality, accessible and appropriate care along the mental health continuum in such a way that users craft and take ownership of their own mental health journey and it has specific December highlights that you can tune into and refer to whenever you feel the need to go within.
“As psychologist and speaker, Naomi Holt, says, considering the fact that we crawled into 2022 still carrying the shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief of the pandemic and the memories of a surreal existence, it’s no wonder we’re all utterly exhausted.
“And her advice is even wiser: Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently. Go slowly. Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness.”
“Don’t let the holidays become something you dread,” says Geffen, “instead, take steps to prevent the stress, anxiety and depression that can descend during this period.
“Try to identify and recognise your holiday triggers so that you can address them before they lead to a meltdown. And, with a little planning, self-care and support, you’ll be able to find peace and joy during the holidays and into the new year.