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It’s been dubbed “wine o’clock culture” — the 5pm glass that becomes a bottle, the secret sips behind the pantry door, the weekend binge that started out as a stress relief ritual. But more recently, international documentaries and local observations alike are revealing a worrying trend: women between the ages of 40 and 60 are drinking more alcohol than their male peers — and in some cases, more than ever before.
This isn’t about having fun or letting off steam. It’s about survival.
According to Kerry Rudman, founder of Brain Harmonics, this uptick in alcohol use is less about partying and more about pressure. “We’re seeing this in many of the women we work with,” says Rudman. “It’s the cumulative impact of years spent juggling full-time careers, running households, raising children, managing ageing parents, navigating divorce or death, and still being expected to show up with a smile. Alcohol becomes an escape hatch — not because they’re reckless, but because they’re exhausted.”
What makes this trend even more alarming is how silently it unfolds. Many of these women are functioning alcoholics — they still get up early, make lunches, lead boardroom meetings, and meet deadlines. But underneath the surface, there’s burnout, anxiety, insomnia, and deep overwhelm.
And it’s starting to show. “There’s been a noticeable rise in the number of women being arrested for drunk driving,” says Rudman. “It’s heartbreaking, because so often it’s a woman who has spent the whole day being everything to everyone and just didn’t realise how much she’d had to drink before getting into the car.”
Society hasn’t made it easier. While men are still culturally accepted — even celebrated — for using alcohol as a way to relax or bond (think after-work drinks or golf course beers), women are often shamed for doing the same. “There’s a stigma attached to women drinking to cope,” says Rudman. “We judge them for it, yet we don’t offer better alternatives or support.”
And perhaps that’s where the real conversation needs to begin: How do we help women cope — without shame, and without harmful substances?
Rudman, whose company Brain Harmonics specialises in Neurofeedback therapy, believes that alternative, drug-free therapies should be part of the discussion. “Neurofeedback isn’t a quick fix — it’s a gentle, non-invasive therapy that helps rewire the brain to better manage stress, sleep, anxiety, and even trauma. It gives women the tools to calm their nervous systems naturally — no pills, no numbing, and no guilt.”
The therapy has already helped hundreds of South African women feel more in control of their lives without relying on alcohol. “What we’re saying is: there is another way. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through midlife. You don’t have to drown your stress in Sauvignon Blanc. You don’t have to feel alone.”
The pressures facing women in their 40s, 50s and 60s today are real — and they’re not going away. But neither is the strength of women who, every day, carry families, businesses, and communities on their backs.
“We need to start talking about this,” Rudman urges. “Not in a way that blames or shames, but in a way that opens up space for empathy, support, and healthier options. Every woman deserves that.”
For more information, please visit www.brainharmonics.co.za